Here I am in front of the zendo at Tenryuji, sometime in the middle of my second Osseshin, with its 12 hours of meditation a day. The sign above the door, previously hidden, has been turned around so that it can be seen. It reads, "The Lion's Den." Yes, that's where I have been.
I have felt as if the lion was getting the best of me, as if he had mangled my legs and bled me about to death, but something is beginning to give. Sitting for that many hours a day is very painful... but I am doing it, and I am still able to pray. In fact, I have finally begun to embrace the pain and to use it to guide my meditation, providing energy and focus. I have discovered that as long as I focus on the meditation rather than the pain, the pain keeps at bay, turning into a stream of energy that supports rather than distracts. Odd, counter-intuitive, but true nonetheless.
The gentleman to the left is a retired layman who joins the Osseshin here each month in order to improve his own prayer life. I have learned a lot from him and derive much strength from his presence in the zendo, even though he speaks only a smattering of English and I speak no Japanese. He says that sitting in zazen meditation gives him insights that he could not gain any other way. But at 63, the meditation postures are much more painful for him than they are for me. After each session, as he struggles to stand up again and limps out of the zendo, I am truly humbled. Would I do this after I retire? Do I, even at this point in my life, take my prayer life this seriously? I love this man, and am so blessed that his path has crossed mine.
Point of note: The Lion is the Budhha, and thus "The Lion's Cave" refers to the place where the Buddha's reside. We are all training, hoping to become Buddhas. This is why we persevere in such intense and austere prayers. At least that is the ideal...